First Annual Caitlin Dunbar Memorial Poetry Contest
River Hill High School, Clarksville, Maryland
April 2005

1st Place
Asleep
©Rachel Kunkler, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 12)

I walk into the room,
faintly suffocated by the heat.
My attention finds you thin,
lost deep in pure white sheets.
The pain grows behind my tears,
as I drop down to my knees.
Overcome by an awful truth,
that we are slaves to this disease.
And I watch the color in your face,
as it slowly fades away.
Left alone with so many questions,
silently I count the days...
Ashen hair surrounds your tender face,
a touch feels icy skin.
And I glimpse your eyes as they’re closing,
exhaustion setting in.
I stand watching as you slumber,
so I crawl in bed next to you.
My head resting on your heart,
I ask God if he can take me too.
And as the stillness declares that he can’t,
we fall asleep together.
If only I could give all I have,
so I could keep you here forever...
But I’m awakened by sobs beside me,
as I turn and meet your eyes.
I find tears falling from your cheeks...
I’ve never seen you cry.
And I struggle to find words,
but they lie on the tip of my tongue.
As I lie here like I’m drowning,
I choke on the water in my lungs.
You whisper that you love me,
like a child you confess your fears.
And for that second you’re eternal,
the whole world disappears...
Softly I utter that I love you too,
imagining how I’ll endure when you’re gone.
When a day will come I’ll need you here,
but turn to find the curtains drawn.
And my perfect escape is brief,
as I curse the way life slips away so fast.
So relentless is this reality,
inside my heart like shattered glass...
I only wish that you could tell me,
just how much time we have.
So we don’t waste a single instant,
or forget a single laugh.
‘Cause my biggest fear is that I’ll miss my chance,
to tell you my goodbyes.
A disease only youth could cure:
childhood the kingdom, where nobody dies.

Who decides who lives and who dies?
Who decides when and why?
So many questions, but not a single answer

When a life is ended
One wants to go back,
To hold on to all those happy times.
But time doesn’t stop,
Just to sit and remember.
Time keeps ticking.
You can’t go back.
Time never stops ‘til you’re gone.

You long to have her by your side,
But she’s gone, like a flash of lightning,
Leaving you all alone.
But you can’t stop living,
For life moves along,
and time never stops ticking.
You never know when life will end,
But ’til then you must keep living.
Living as though each day is your last.

Who decides when life will start and end,
If it will be happy or sad,
Short
or long?
Who decided they could take away the life of my best friend?

2nd Place
Hope
©Jerry Wu, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 10)

Unpredictable and changing
That is what life is
Not always perfect
Not always easy
But hope is always there

Sometimes you feel stuck
As if trapped in a box
In a cave
Pitch black, so dark
Can’t find your way out
You try and crawl
But then you fall
Yet you get back up
And keep on trying

Hope is the light that guides you
Through the frustration
The strain and the pain
To the right of way

The light of hope is dim
But it pushes you along
Helping you break free
Free from the shackles
Free from the ropes
That bind you

Hope is what brings you
To the light ahead
Hope

3rd Place
Jelly Belly Life
©Jessica Tabacca, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 10)

To hold a bag of jelly beans
Is to hold life.
Each bean represents a new day,
A new flavor.

Pick a chocolate-flavored bean
And it will be sweet
Like when you find a penny on the sidewalk.
Heads up, of course.

Pick a lemon-flavored bean
And it will be sour
Like when you make your first mistake
And have to suffer the consequences.

Pick a coffee-flavored bean
And it will be bitter
Like moving away from home
To start life on your own.

Pick a salt-flavored bean
From the bag of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans,
But it won’t be salty
Because life is not fictional.

Life is a bag of jelly beans,
Each day a new flavor.
Now today, reach into the bag and select a bean.
What flavor is today?

Hey Kid, Lets wash up and head on down.
Come on Gal, I wanna drive into town.
Let’s go Doll, I’m sick of these same old walls.
Gal, I’m ready for the buildings so tall.

Who? Just us two.
What? You’re not tired of this hut?
Where? Why not Times Square?
When? While we’ve got time to spend.

No, I don’t know why.
Yes, I do know how.
Put on a dress and I’ll put on my tie.
Let’s go before the weather gets foul.

Under star’s shimmering glow we’ll see the show.
Where we’ll be thrilled right down to the toe.
Then dine with polished patrons and dazzling dames.
We’ll dine on food with mystifying names.

There we’ll dance deep into the night.
And hold each other close till the morning light.
Take my hand and away we’ll go.
Not to return till the morning glow.

Of Cloudy Grey
©Brady  O'Neill, 2005
(Atholton HS -- Grade 10)

Cloudy Grey was once a girl
Who couldn’t laugh
Who couldn’t sing
Who couldn’t smile
Who couldn’t feel
Who couldn’t love
Yes, Cloudy Grey was once a girl
Who would one day find her heart unfurl

Not long ago, not far away
A lonely girl would spend her day
Around the school yard, watching children
Jump and laugh and sing and play

But no, not her, she dare not try
For fear she may fail, and start to cry
The kids all cried, “Come on, Cloudy Grey!”
The kids all cried, “Come on, let’s play!”
But no, not her, she dare not try
For fear she may fail, and start to cry

All her life, she lived this way
All her life, up ‘til this day
When Sonny Bright came up to say
“Why don’t you come? Come and play?”

And Cloudy Grey realized...
“Hey, why don’t I come and play?”
She’d never tried, until that day
And when she did, she was proud to say:

“I can laugh
I can sing
I can smile
I can feel
I can love
If only I had tried”

And that was the end of Cloudy Grey
For she was sunny bright after that day...

Blue Roses
©Katie  French, 2005
(Sherwood HS -- Grade 10)

Red roses have all turned blue
They’re so pretty, just like you
I hope you’re happy and I hope you know
We all love you too
I hope my life will pass by fast
So this pain will cease to last
It’s so true, I’m hopeless without you

I hope you’re happy where you are
I know we miss you here on earth
You left us misshapen and scarred
Just to smile takes so much work
We’re bleeding out our eyes
We’re crying through our hearts

And with all my family ties
I hurt before the start
Despite my wicked ways
I’ve finally come to feel
That before every scar appears
The wound needs time to heal

You taught me how to smile
When the clouds were shedding tears
I taught you how I cry
And I cry more through the years
Living life without regret
Is all we try to do

Endurance
©Stephanie  Shandruk, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 12)

The strength within,
the drive to succeed
Determination in a sense,
mental and physical;
spiritual at times.
Your desire to prevail
overcomes your thirst,
your hunger, your agony.
Human nature in all simplicity;
a catalyst for the subconscious,
becomes your instincts.
Giving you the power
of reason, to think,
to succeed;
to endure.

Reflection
©Adrienne  Grauso, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 11)

Everyday I walk through the crowded hallways hoping, wanting, needing to just get through another day.
Class is always the same;
you raise your hand and speak what you have to say.
Even though people may nod their heads and seem like they’re listening, do they really hear your voice?
With every step you take you have a choice,
Even if you don’t realize, it,
you can make a difference in someone’s life.
Inspiring them to change and do something differently
to eliminate their strife.
The ripple effect touches everyone,
if even in the smallest increment.
Anything can change in just a single instant.
When I’m gone and you look back on my life and yours,
see the place where I touched your spirit and made it soar.
See the point in your life where I saved you
when you thought you were lost.
See the time I picked you up
and never worried about the cost.
When others look back on their lives after you’re gone,
what will they see?

(no title)
©Rachel  Kreutzinger, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 10)

A tortured mind steps out into the sands of time.
Gravity no longer rules.
Embracing insanity after a young life ends.
Misunderstood existence is liberated.
Awake and lapping the pendulum’s tick,
immersing themselves in hypocritical ideology for fear of stepping outside the continuum of the norm.
Soothing voices call from the river’s meniscus.
Silver bells cursing in dead language,
idols now replace dolls,
and children play among once human tides.
Waters diffuse into pores closed by ignorance,
and satisfaction is now near.
In exchange for repentance there is fear,
and love becomes a commodity.
Lost in the tranquil red seas that bleed wine;
wine to be consumed by the future generations
doomed to follow in the steps of ignorance,
once gravity is segregated by consciousness.

Canada (These Northern Lights)
©Andrew  Sasser, 2005
(River Hill HS -- Grade 11)

Verse:
Caught all the green lights on my way home
this one goes out all alone
and your cold hands they make me feel warm
So keep up and watch your back while this paranoia causes heart attacks…

Chorus:
These northern lights make me feel home these northern lights make me feel all alone (home) and all alone…
Stop, repeat (this) sweet defeat…
Chorus 2X…
I cant believe we’re all alone last time we met I you know…

Verse:
Misery ensues
keeps transferring from me to you
and this time I have left to lose
I’ll make it out by the soles of my shoes…

Chorus

Bridge:
Cities of broken glass
my mouth still tastes of ash
and all of the people their marching and singing
‘cause this is their last chance, their voices are ringing
can you hear ‘em singing?
They take their loss in stride, moving closer to those northern lights…

The city takes their loss in stride, moves slowly towards those northern lights, those northern lights…